Selfish Misery

All emotions involved
when I miss everyone I love,
constant flashbacks of loneliness.
Sometimes,
words cannot describe
the pain inside,
recycling phrases through vanished lips.
A tortuous feeling distancing the soul,
every breath vacuous.
Why have I been cursed with such?
Let the night take me away,
surround me with love’s void,
thin as paper;
the wind abstaining a touch of memory.
Selfish be misery
suffering all those I love;
faltering my gift until it falls
into an empty well.
Let the night take me away
towards
a loud darkness
with no stars,
orchestrating sadness
towards love’s void,
thin as paper
yet thick as the
selfishness of misery.
Fill my glass with room temperature wine.
Black lit candles light the way
to a bittersweet end.
Why have I been cursed with such?
Selfish be misery,
forcing me to love through pain.
My piano be the keystrokes
of this painful poem
for my children and lover
who remain without me every night
as tonight.
While you dream I remain awake,
filled with violins of tears.
What tears me apart is
not watching over you while you sleep,
only an imagination,
filled with violins of tears.
You should see my strength,
it is only an illusion of my sorrow.
Had it not been for your love
I would have let the darkness take me away.
Selfish be misery,
watching me slowly die
and taking those who I cherish
with me.
A piano be the keystrokes of my lonesome life,
let the night take me away
with misery as selfish as it may be.

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