Selfish Misery

All emotions involved
when I miss everyone I love,
constant flashbacks of loneliness.
Sometimes,
words cannot describe
the pain inside,
recycling phrases through vanished lips.
A tortuous feeling distancing the soul,
every breath vacuous.
Why have I been cursed with such?
Let the night take me away,
surround me with love’s void,
thin as paper;
the wind abstaining a touch of memory.
Selfish be misery
suffering all those I love;
faltering my gift until it falls
into an empty well.
Let the night take me away
towards
a loud darkness
with no stars,
orchestrating sadness
towards love’s void,
thin as paper
yet thick as the
selfishness of misery.
Fill my glass with room temperature wine.
Black lit candles light the way
to a bittersweet end.
Why have I been cursed with such?
Selfish be misery,
forcing me to love through pain.
My piano be the keystrokes
of this painful poem
for my children and lover
who remain without me every night
as tonight.
While you dream I remain awake,
filled with violins of tears.
What tears me apart is
not watching over you while you sleep,
only an imagination,
filled with violins of tears.
You should see my strength,
it is only an illusion of my sorrow.
Had it not been for your love
I would have let the darkness take me away.
Selfish be misery,
watching me slowly die
and taking those who I cherish
with me.
A piano be the keystrokes of my lonesome life,
let the night take me away
with misery as selfish as it may be.

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And Again

And I wait, Because of your worth. No love has rooted deeply into the trunk of my soul as yours.

No wind has breezed  by without a hint of your scent. No picture captured has faded

thoughts of your beauty. No rain has come down without envisioning you as the

sunlight. No pen left ink-less without words expressing my love for you. This

is what you have done to me. And I wait, because of your worth. So when

my soul leaves this flesh and moves on to the next life, I pray the love

I have for you remains inside me, that I may look for you and find

your every glowing aura surrounding me, beginning our love

affair again, and again, and again and again, and again,

and again, and again, and again, and again, and

again, and again, and again, and again,

and again, and again, and again, and again, and

again, and again, and again, and again,

and again, and again, and again,

and again, and again, and

again, and again, and

again, and again,

and again,

…..

 

It Wasn’t So Long Ago

We didn’t see the stars that night. There were so many clouds in the way, but we waited, facing the sky on a plain, hoping to see a small light appear behind the pillowy darkness.

Then, drops of rain rushed down on our faces the moment a star appeared and we gazed at each other, narrating repeated history through eyes exhausted from pain; it wasn’t so long ago.

We weren’t suppose to be here, someday, on this plain, hitherto, love’s renaissance.

No, we didn’t see the stars that night, we felt them, as the first time my rough hands touched your face, your strength became my weakness, our universe consonant.

Facing the sky on a plain, we weren’t suppose to be here, still, we gazed at each other through eyes exhausted from pain, narrating repeated history, hitherto.

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My Divine Deja Vu

Where have I seen you before?
A familiar feeling reminiscent of a lost love
Hidden in the darkest of places
brightening the dimming lights of a shaded moon
Forever still in a framed abstract painting
Wishing the present was the past
Erasing memories of regret with joy
Binding time with parallel universes
Looking on to what we will become today
Watching our lives play out like a silent movie

Oh! What we would do to love young again!
In your eyes you have lived a life with me
A future filled with endless possibilities
Where the sun will only shine for you
The breeze will only warm your beautiful face
And the rain shall lotion your skin lavender soft
Let me be your earth
And surround you with all my love

Where have I seen you before?
Could it be you live in my dreams?
If so I shall close my eyes
And never awaken me
For I wish to stay with you there
Where we fantasize of running away
to a place
Where the sun never sets
Yet stars shine when you turn off the bedroom lights
Where waves forever crash
Yet the blue waters calmly rock you to sleep
And the sky forever blue
Only to dusk when you tire

Where have I seen you before?
Could it be we met in a past life?
If so may death come and take me back
Where I open my eyes in this old new world
and forget the obstacles that sit upon us now
I turn to see your angelic smile
The greatest of good mornings
Like an ancient Goddess
Announcing the arrival of the sun
Take me back
Open my eyes to this old new world
Where we are tragic lovers in a greek poem
Disobeying rules for each other’s warm embrace
Rebelling against the world for the taste of each other’s lips
The envy of the Gods
But favored by Aphrodite

Oh! What we would do to have today’s love yesterday
Let us keep forever tomorrow
Carry on our love in kindred souls
Where we will see each other again
A familiar feeling reminiscent of a lost love
My divine deja vu

Bottled Love Letter

We fell in love,

Fell,

And fell in love again.

But what this love brings,

Can never be brought again.

This love,

It is a sleepless night,

It is an everlasting touch,

It is a thousand lifetimes,

It is a poem written on crumbled paper.

This love,

Brought us here,

I never knew her,

Yet we met a thousand times.

Each time,

This love,

Drew us closer,

A bottled message,

This love letter,

Release it in the wind,

Let it find us once again,

Remind us of our last lifetime,

We were always,

together,

Every night we felt alone,

together.

We thought the world was cruel,

together.

We never imagined finding each other,

together.

Searching endlessly in fields of tall grass,

Only fate knew our love.

Waiting for someone,

To rescue ill-fated hearts.

Here we stand,

With this love,

I see the future in your eyes.

A bottled love letter,

Release it in the wind,

Let it find us once again,

In every life,

In every dream,

In every kiss,

In every poem,

When the storm comes,

May each raindrop,

Tell our story,

 When the storm comes,

May the howling winds,

Cry out our names,

And if we fail,

Bottle this love letter,

Let it find us once again,

A thousand times,

In every life,

In every dream,

In every kiss,

In every poem,

Let us fall in love,

Fall,

And fall in love again,

A thousand times,

In every life,

In every dream,

In every kiss,

In every poem,

……..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Finding Home

I eagerly sit by the phone

waiting for your call

knowing you think of me

at this moment

I touch the pillow

where your head lay

reminding myself

of your love

tears

The wine numbs my lips

as to deny my heart

the sound of your name

waiting for your call

how I love you

wishing I was your present and future

the man I could be

fighting off arrows of cupid

my eyes only see you

pain

every ounce of me hurts

When you part

it may be the last time

yet I look for you

fighting off the arrows of cupid

hurry

Desperately needing you

Waiting to feel your kiss again

But the wine numbs my lips

afraid you will let me go

hold me

bring me back to life

erase my mistakes

tame the beast within

searching through fields

filled with heartbroken silhouettes

following the sun

lost souls separated

together finding home

 

Breathe Again

I remember,

the stare you gave me,

it was beautiful,

I couldn’t believe it,

but my heart was,

so enraged,

hurt from my past,

I denied it.

I wanted to,

actually I was,

Drinking it all away,

acting a fool,

scaring my friends away.

I was tired of lies,

tired of hurting inside,

tired of lying to myself,

every time I turned around,

I was always wrong.

Do you know how it feels,

to feel like everything you do is wrong?

Do you know how it feels,

to feel like you suck at relationships,

constantly reminded that you are imperfect?

That’s how I felt,

before I met you.

I was so hating myself,

for being myself,

I wanted to kill myself,

slowly.

But then,

you came around,

with your eyes bright and brown,

smiling at me,

like I was worth something.

Massaging the weight off my shoulders,

now I am floating,

in the sky

looking down,

at the eruptions of life

As if all the negative energy,

inside me,

flowed like lava,

into the sea,

and cooled,

you guided me,

to a promised land,

that came to be.

This new land,

sprung new trees,

fresh acres of grass,

flowers and bushes,

we start over.

You breathed life,

into my dead body.

You gave me,

a new beginning.

You gave me,

exactly what I needed,

love!

In Love Again

Escaping this world

Leaving all behind

Feeling

Young and free

Falling

In love again.

Taking us

above the clouds

We hid

Behind the sun

We danced

At the edge of noon

We walked

on the sea’s horizon

We kissed

Listening to the ocean’s music

Falling

In love again.

Descending

Losing hold

Perturbed eyes

Returning

To this world

The wind’s force

Upon my back

Trusting her

With my vulnerabilities

Closer

To this world

I close my eyes

She Clutches

A tender giant

Never wanting to let go

As we land

On this world

Separated

But

Scarred

By

Memories

Of

Falling

In love

Again!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Alongside Midnight

In the sleepless nights

I reach out to find you,

knowing you are not there.

My eyes closed,

a daydream begins.

The soul breathes the scent of your air.

I can see you next to me.

The teary of your eyes

blushing with purity.

The strength of my arms

canvasing your brown tone.

I become your wall of security.

The touch of your delicate hand

soothes my hardest complexity.

An instant flash,

through timeless streaks of space,

exceeds any perplexity.

The moment is realized

but my passion for you is delayed.

The immeasurable of my conviction

will keep alive all, never fade.

In the sleepless of nights

I wait,

to touch the warmth of your face.

Forever is not long enough

the passage of eternity,

our love ongoing

never to be replaced.

Apart

When we are apart
I long for the winds to bring us together
for every moment away
memories evanescent
my footsteps follow your shadow
but the night will take you away

When we are apart
emotions whisper through our eyes
listening to heartbeats
creating melodic sounds of love
memories afresh
loneliness becomes obsolescent

When we are apart
thoughts desolated
calmed by the redolence of your skin
lingering, restless
the winds bring us together
for every moment away
memories evanescent